WE need your “POD Wisdom”

Introducing a New Blog Category – “POD WISDOM”

By Bill Schacht, MS, LCSW

 

Time to tap into our Association value!

Our next blog posted will be the introduction of a new blog category…

“POD WISDOM”

Although, as the 60 million people of divorce in America, we represent all the not-so-clever things we did to end up divorced, collectively we also have more experience and  insights into what causes marriages to fail, what happens to families after divorce , and what can be done to optimally recover from family separation and recreate a joyful daily life.

We may not think we have all the answers.  But, if we ask the right questions of ourselves and one another and we dig deeply inside of ourselves for the answers, our wisdom will emerge.  Combined, this wisdom will be profound.

The Association’s role will be to compile and organize the wisdom contributed by each of us and get it back out to the membership.

Each POD WISDOM blog will pose a question reported as common to many of us.   A FORUM on the topic will simultaneously be posted with a format and guidelines to submit your personal wisdom on the subject. A composite report will tie all of our wisdom together and be posted as an article.

My plan is to simultaneously pose the same question being addressed to a number of  “experts” in the field of divorce to compare our natural wisdom with that of the pros.

It is not the wisdom of any one of us that holds the potential; it is the wisdom of all of us that can magnificently guide our futures.

Share your wisdom…PLEASE!

The POD Inaugural Blog: A Call to Action

The POD Inaugural Blog: A Call to Action

By Bill Schacht, MS, LCSW

“The most valuable organization you never wanted to join!”

The honest truth is that none of us want to be here.  What brings us here is our common experience of family separation and divorce – the challenges, the pain.  Although we all arrive here from different stories, distinct histories, we have many similar fears and a kindred spirit to do our best to recreate post-divorce life as happy and healthy for ourselves and our children.  We all want to get over “it” and move beyond “it.”

The negative impact of divorce on both adults and children is well documented and absolutely terrifying.  Web search illuminates countless reads on the subject.  There are also a gazillion articles and books on the cause of divorce, what to do to prevent divorce, parenting children of divorce, and any other aspect of divorce imaginable.

But, unbelievably, in our world of an increased divorce rate of 500% in the last 90 years and in a society where, of the next 10 children born in the United States  today, only two will be living with both of their parents by age 17, none of what has been written or read has made a difference.  Countless number of psychotherapy hours, sermons by clergy, classes by school counselors, or efforts by concerned family to intervene have not reversed the American epidemic of marriage failure and families broken apart.

Rightfully, we are all concerned about our futures.  We are told that 63% of second marriages fail, 73% of third marriages fail, and that our children of divorce marry less often and divorce more often than kids from intact families.

We are here to put an end to that.  We and our children are not willing to be statistics of this trend.  We are starting a movement; championing a worthwhile cause.

PEOPLE OF DIVORCE-The Association exists as a bold mission …

PEOPLE OF DIVORCE MISSION STATEMENT

To provide a facilitative voice, support, and

educational services to people of divorce

so that they have the opportunity to express

their potential, enjoy life to the fullest,

and never experience the pain of divorce again.

I dare to imagine our success.  Can you?  What if you committed to learn whatever you needed to learn, change whatever you needed to change, and do whatever you needed to do and experienced the success of never divorcing again, your children never experiencing another divorce, and your grandchildren never being touched by divorce?  Would your efforts be worthwhile?

The POD Association (The POD) will provide resources and a network of support to help us be successful.

Every great journey begins with a first step.  We as individuals and as a community have taken it.  We are here and we will take the next step and the next and the next…

Join us.  The value of what we will accomplish together cannot be grasped by our imagination today.

Is this blog relevant to your life experience as a person of divorce?  LEAVE A REPLY below and tell us more.  Does this blog provide information that will help you achieve your goal of never divorcing again?  Will you post further comments or ask questions about this blog on The POD social network?  Did this blog provide information that will cause you to take action?  Let us know, below…

The Structure of the Association: A Seedling Today, A Driving Force Tomorrow

The Structure of the Association: A Seedling Today, A Driving Force Tomorrow

by Bill Schacht, MS, LCSW

As 60,000,000 People of Divorce, we exist as the largest subset of the American population, bar gender.  As one voice, our potential to effect change and create good is beyond what we can imagine today.  United, we can be a potent economic and political influence – even greater than organizations like the NRA and National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship.

To harness and guide our potential, we have initially structured PEOPLE OF DIVORCE – The Association to secure a rapidly growing membership, provide immediate educational and resource benefit, and get us talking to one another about what we need and is important to us.

We will only fulfill our mission by being a membership driven organization.  Those of us who created The POD bring early leadership, insights, and teachings.  But, immediately, each and every member will be encouraged and given opportunities to communicate to The Association his/her needs and wants.  From these we will expand and evolve as an increasingly valuable resource.

And, we must start somewhere.

We open as a web based community.  Our website is anchored around a blog which will post 2 weekly entries: one of interest to all POD’s, another specific to POD’s with children (35% of American divorces involve children under the age of 18).

The membership will be given weekly Forum topics which will promote dialogue amongst the membership and creating questions for the professional experts on the topics.

We will conduct short polls of the membership consistent with blog and forum topics.

Members will have access to an expanding list of more extensive surveys to gather in depth awareness of members’ desire for educational opportunities and support resources.

The POD contained social network, a similar structure to Facebook, becomes the immediate resource to post needs and wants and create member groups with common, specific needs.  We will share what we have learned about what works and what does not work in facing POD challenges.  For example, A POD single dad who is raising an autistic 10 year old asked how he could begin networking with other POD’s facing the same parenting challenges.

The website opens with posted articles and links to other sites and articles of interest on the internet.

In Wisconsin, PEOPLE OF DIVORCE, LLC is already locally presenting a 4-hour Parents’ Seminar called “KIDS-IN-A-BREAK: Providing Necessary Support for Your Child of Divorce.”  Soon, this seminar will be available to members on The Association website.

A 5-session; 10 hour course for children, ages 8-17,in family separation and divorce, “KIDS-IN-A-BREAK” is also being offered through the Recreation Departments in three Wisconsin communities.  Our plans for a POD kids’ educational web site will be shared in a forthcoming blog.

The POD is a nationwide, grassroots initiative.  Our best potential for membership growth is through word-of-mouth and viral.  Our ability to expand services and resources will be directly correlated to our membership numbers.

We can best make a difference by engaging in our web site offerings, posting our want and needs and our impressions of information being posted on The Association site.

And, to get this off and running, we will benefit by getting anyone and everyone we know who has felt the pain of divorce to join our Association.  Not only our peers, but also the professionals: our attorneys, local school staff, clergy, mental health providers, doctors, financial advisors, government officials.

We will do much good as a membership of 5,000.  We will do unbelievable good as a membership of 5,000,000+.

Together and communicating, we can do so much.  For today, we will do what we can.

Our next blog will present a long-term vision of The POD Association future.

Did this blog provide information that will cause you to take action? LEAVE A REPLY below and tell us more. Does this blog provide information that will help you achieve your goal of never divorcing again? Will you post further comments or ask questions about this blog on The POD social network? Is this blog relevant to your life experience as a person of divorce? Let us know, below…

“The POD” – Our Social Network Rules of Engagement

“The POD” – Our Social Network Rules of Engagement

By Bill Schacht, MS, LCSW

“The POD” is the name we have affectionately given to our community.  Its name both defines who we are and declares that we are committed to have our community as a safe place to interact.

Our PEOPLE OF DIVORCE – The Association social network is the most powerful tool we have.  It is the vehicle that will allow us to…

• Learn from one another by sharing what has worked and what has not worked for us in facing common POD life challenges.
• Ask questions of the membership when we are stuck in POD-related issues.
• Share other resources (i.e. professional, media, etc.) we have used successfully to help us in our separation, divorce, and blending families process.
• Create special interest member groups around shared challenges (i.e. co-parenting at distance) and projects (i.e. re-organizing financially post divorce, etc.).

In other words, communicate to The Association what education, support, and resources we, as individuals and families, want and need our Association to provide so help us achieve our goals of never divorcing again and creating and sustaining the joyful, healthy relationships.

As we researched the market and planned the creation of The Association, we reviewed hundreds of divorce-related websites.  Sadly, we saw that many of the forum and social network sites showed way too many posts and entries of folks slamming their ex, bemoaning their fate, and using the site as their virtual psychotherapist.

We want our community to be safe, productive, and somewhat entertaining, not a place to get depressed by reading rants, raves, and venting to nowhere.  We are not and Association of “whoa is me!”  We are not a gathering spot for angry, highly conflicted people who want to inflict more pain on their ex.

We ARE a culture of Never Again! – and creating our own and family happiness through awareness and positive change.

To that end, here are the rules of engagement for our social network posts and entries…

The POD – Rules of Engagement

 Posts allowed and welcomed…

• Request the Association to expand our services or make our organization better.  Write what you want and need The Association to be for you and your family.
• Share a challenge that you and your family have faced as POD and what you did that helped you be successful in overcoming that obstacle or things you tried that caused you to fail or made the situation worse.
• Share what you have learned about what you did or did not do that contributed to the failure of your marriage.  Share what you have done to correct those as you explore or engage in new relationship.
• Share things that you have learned and use to create joyful, healthy relationships.
• Share co-parenting successes.  Share what you learned that causes co-parenting failure.
• Acknowledge your ex for a good thing they did to make post-divorce life better for you and your children.
• Present topics of interest that you would like to see engaged in The Association blogs and forums.
• Ask questions and request The Association to provide educational opportunities on your areas of interest.
• Share professional resources and support that have been valuable to you and your family.

Post content that is prohibited …

•  All language that is profanity or vulgar.
• All language that is discriminatory of race, ethnicity, creed, or legal sexual preference.
• Posting of real name, identifying information, or contact information of any person. It is acceptable to post contact information of a professional resource you are recommending to the membership.
• Repeated bashing or blaming of ex’s or other people.
• Advertising or selling of any service or product other than those approved by PEOPLE OF DIVORCE – The Association.

The Association reserves the right to cancel any membership and remove any posts that it deems in violation of the rules of engagement.